Paste your CV. Get a brutally honest roast of the clichés and weak spots — then a genuinely useful, ATS-friendly breakdown of how to fix it. Free CV review, no login. We don't keep your CV.
Roast mine → See how it works
At describe.me you're not two sides of A4 and a header in a font nobody chose on purpose. You build a smart profile that captures what you can actually do, the depth behind it, and where you want to go next — then our multi-layer Smart Matching brings the right opportunities to you. No CV required.
Trouble is, the rest of the recruitment world is still partying like it's 1985 — fax machine humming, demanding a CV at every turn. So until everyone else catches up, we'll help you make yours genuinely brilliant. Think of it as career support from the people who'd quietly rather you didn't need a CV at all.
No account, no upload faff, no 10-page report. Three steps from "is my CV any good?" to a CV that actually gets read.
Drop in your CV or resume — the polished one, the rushed one, or the version you're quietly worried about.
We call out the tired clichés, the "responsible for" lists, the missing numbers and the formatting an ATS will choke on.
Then the useful part: a prioritised, plain-English breakdown of exactly what to change to stand out.
Two halves of the same review — one makes the weak spots impossible to ignore, the other tells you precisely how to fix them.
A real, anonymised CV — lightly disguised. If any of this feels a little personal, that's the point.
You open with "a results-driven professional with a proven track record and excellent communication skills" — a sentence so universal it would fit a CV for an astronaut or a goat herder. Then it's "responsible for managing", "responsible for supporting", "responsible for assisting" — a lot of responsibility, not one result. There isn't a single number on the page, so we'll never know if you saved £5 or £5 million. And it's in a two-column layout with a header graphic the applicant tracking system will read as a single, beautiful blur.
Most CVs are skimmed in seconds — and filtered by software before a human ever sees them. Clichés, vague duties and missing numbers don't just read weakly; they bury the very things that make you a strong candidate.
That's why describe.me exists. Instead of a CV reduced to keywords, you build a richer profile and our multi-layer Smart Matching reads for your skills, experience and aspirations — so the right opportunities start finding you. See what describe.me does for your career →
Yes — it's completely free and needs no login.
No. We read the text, generate your feedback, and discard it — nothing is stored. If you later choose to build a describe.me profile, that's always opt-in and you keep full control of your data. Read our data promise →
Roast My CV flags the things that trip up applicant tracking systems — odd formatting, columns and tables, missing keywords, and images-as-text — and tells you how to fix them so your CV is read properly.
Clichés and filler, vague responsibilities with no results, missing metrics, ATS-friendliness, structure and length, and whether your strengths are actually visible in the first six seconds.
Yes — CV or resume, UK or US, it's the same tool. Paste your resume and you'll get the same roast and the same practical fixes.
It helps. The roast makes the weak spots obvious; the serious fix is a prioritised, practical breakdown — quantify impact, cut clichés, fix formatting — you can action straight away. We punch up at bad CV habits, never at you.
It takes a minute, it's free, and we don't keep your CV. You'll know exactly what to fix before you hit send.
Roast my CV →